The Wisecrackers


The latest in the line of the various wisecracking mavericks in Pakistan cricket were out in full force against the ‘might’ of Zimbabwe. Sledging is a customary tradition in cricket now, and is expected at the top-most level. Many Pakistani cricketers (inevitably) take it to the next level of awesomeness by their witty retorts in Punjabi. ‘Jugatbaazi’ it seems, comes as natural to a cricketer from the Land of Indus, as reverse-swing.

So when I logged in today to catch the afternoons session on the 4th Day of the one-off test between Pakistan and Zimbabwe, I expected the resurgent Zimbabweans to give the rookie bowling attack a tough time. Little did I expect that, Pakistani close-in fielders will be chatting away and creating insurmountable pressure on the inexperienced Zimbabwe side.

Adnan Akmal a relative newbie to International cricket, with his legendary – yo’self – and Azhar Ali at silly-mid off were chattering away in a mix of English-Urdu-Punjabi, as 8 wickets fell in quick succession.

Here are some of the best quips I was able to decipher amongst all the shitty commentary by Ten Sports commentators.

Adnan ‘Manjhla‘ Akmal is such a colorful character. He is in your face constantly and never shies away from a word or two with the opposition. His chirping behind the wickets is already legendary and he was at his absolute best today. He clearly believes in sledging away and giving the opposition an earful. Here are some of his best one-liners today.

Beauty that’s the one boy – when Aizaz Cheema bowled a bouncer, the batsmen ducked under.

It’s a huge pressure– when a wicket fell, and the new Zim batsman walked into the middle.

Very tight lads– when Aizaz bowled a maiden over and batsmen were changing ends.

Waj jayegi paiyaan, kuj nai paya hua – when Ajmal called in Umer Akmal at sill-mid off. Clearly he wasn’t wearing his ‘guard’.

Thora jeya LOOP dena aino off-stump tay to Hafeez when Brian Vitori was starting to slog and the advise resulted in a wicket, the very next ball.

‘Umer nu vi kar lo thora pichay’Adnan directing traffic from behind the stumps.

Then there was the conversation in Punjabi between Hafeez & Misbah where they were trying to set a field, Hafeez was clearly adamant on setting his own field and sho down a suggestion by Misbah saying – “Zaroorat hi nai haigi eh, jadon ho reya aey.”

What really surprised me today was the non-stop chirping of Azhar Ali at silly-mid-off. He is not someone who is known as aggressive in any facet of his cricket. Yet, there he was constantly encouraging and advising the bowlers, in his own brand of Punjabi humor. And as TwentyTwoYards – very aptly quipped later on, ‘what a chupa rustam’.

Vich kar kay de deyo aeno – To Hafeez, after Taibu & Jarvis started to frustrate the bowlers.

‘Shaba Hafeez bhai, football khaid reya aey tuaday naal, goal kareyo zara’ – This time, a gem from Azhar Ali, was egging on Hafeez to take his 4th wicket.

‘Paiyan balla band kar k khaid’da aey’ – Advising Ajmal, that Jarvis was closing the face of the bat very early.

‘Come on hit your lengths boy, patience patience boys – Pretty sure it’s Azhar this time as well, when Cheema bowled a very high bouncer, which was called a wide.

‘Lagey raho Munna bhai, shabaash – Azhar to Aizaz, after he bowled a beauty to Jarvis.


2 responses »

  1. Hahahahahahha shit hilarious.. don’t understand punjabi but from what I could decipher.. sheesh.. this is what he’s mumbling ALL the bloody time..
    Waj jayegi paiyaan, kuj nai paya hua

    HAHAHAH best !!

    but I still admire Dhoni in this regard, boi aik lafz nahi bolta.. so sober and serious behind the wickets…

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